Sunday, June 14, 2015
It is often said that in order for any relationship to work, there is a substantial level of compromise and, "give and take." I often witnessed as two people met, dated, committed their undying love towards each other and then somewhere down the line, someone was expected to change--change the way they dressed, change their friends, change their career, change hair style and on and on. Tragic. I had reached a point in my life where I truly loved my life and who I was and there was no way I was about to give any of that up--not even for love. I had the career of my dreams, lived in the city of my dreams, and was fortunate enough to have accomplished every life goal I set-out to achieve, including going to Miss America and working on Capitol Hill. Marriage was never part of my life plan and I was content and at peace with that.
So, how did I end up married? Well, I ask myself this question every night and every morning as I lovingly look at my husband's handsome face. He was not part of, "the plan,"so why is my finger adorned with the most beautiful ring, why did I just spend a year conflicted about table settings and floral arrangements, and why do I feel so much more in love with my life and who I am? Honestly, I have no clue. You see, my husband is truly the greatest thing to ever happen to me. He is my truth, my best friend, and the one constant in my life outside of my family. Not once has he ever asked or expected me to compromise, change, or give up any part of who I am. He believes in me far more than I do and no matter how difficult the situation, he tells it like it is while reminding me of how far worse things could be and always seems to find the positive side of things. His love is humbling and I have realized that before him, I never truly knew what love was. Prior to my husband, love was a concept. With him, it is a reality.
I have learned a lot about the meaning of marriage in these past two weeks since saying, "I do," and for that I feel truly grateful to have entered this unexpected stage in life. Walking down the isle was the most effortless thing I have ever done--like breathing. My husband truly amazes me with the stoic way he has taken on his new role. It's as if there's a superhero living under my roof. Yet, I have to remember that at the end of the day he is just as human as I am. Therefore, I must never take for granted, not just what he does for me and our marriage, but for the crystal clear way he loves me. I won't profess to be a pro at love or marriage, but I think there is definitely truth to the old adage to, "stay true to who you are." Anyone worth having your heart will accept it as is and 100% for who you are. The gift of loving, honoring, and respecting ourselves--creates the manifestation in realizing our true life's journey.
Today, I asked my husband if he thinks I've changed at all since the first day we met. He simply looked at me, grinned, and shook his head no. I feel exactly the same ways about him. For me the most important vow a couple can make is to, "stay true," not to each other, but to themselves as individuals. When you can walk through life, "staying true," to who YOU are, you create the strongest foundation needed to build and start a life on. When you think you have found love, ask yourself if he/she loves, respects, and honors themselves. If they are still struggling in any of these areas, then they probably aren't ready. When you can stay true to who you are, you can stay true to those you love, the promises you have made, and the life you want to live. Love yourself always and that which is meant to be will find its way.
Mrs. Ane :)
Sunday, February 15, 2015
Looking back I think about the number of times I hesitated to step out of my comfort spot. Yet, every time I did the end results were always life changing--regardless of the outcome. There is no "one-size fits all" when it comes to goals. The key is to start by forming positive life changing habits that get you one step closer to who and what you want to become. What is stopping you from living and leading the life of your dreams? Fear of failure can be the greatest challenge and sometimes we allow it to consume our thoughts in such a way that we give-up before we even try. Ever had this happen to you? Below I am going to share some steps to help move you forward.
See: It is not enough to just have a a goal. You need to set a plan in place to make it happen. Instead, approach it the same way you would map out any route from point A to B. Having a clear road map of where you are and where you want to go, sets a clear path, focus, and direction. Getting started is always the toughest part, which is why this step is so important. Any time I am taking on a new task, I like to chart out my plan of action. There is something about transferring a thought to paper that somehow brings it to life.
Believe: After you have your action plan in place, what next? Again, approach this as you would any journey. What tools will you need along the way to help you get from point A to point B? As the saying goes, "success is where preparation and opportunity meet." Remember, your mind is powerful and your brain only knows what you tell it, so make time every day to visualize what your success looks like. I do this every morning when I wake up, and every night when I am getting ready for bed. Positive affirmations go a long way and help your thoughts lead to action. There is nothing you cannot achieve or overcome. Never. Forget. This!
Achieve: Ever wonder how successful people got to where they are? Simple. They work for it. I do not care what anyone says or tries to sell you. The truth my friends, is that is absolutely NO substitution for hard work. Anything is possible, but unless you put in the time and work, your goals and dreams will only remain thoughts. I have found that the goals my heart desires are often the toughest battles my mind has to overcome. Yet, there is NOTHING greater than standing on the other side of all your doubt's and fears...VICTORIOUS! Achieving your goals will not happen overnight, so do not give up and stay consistent. Dream about it. Think about it. Speak about it.
Now stop reading this and go out there and be awesome!